Ben Barnes Fan

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sylvia fowler said:
What was up with Ben’s recent secret trip to Montana with J Hough? Right after his secret trip to the UK?

Lots of pandemic traveling!

February 3rd, 2021

Anastasia Beaverhausen said:
That restaurant in Montana did not look very social distanced. And eating each other’s ice cream?? Yuck. We’re in a pandemic, people.

February 4th, 2021

Marie said:
@Sylvia @Anastasia
BBF is not a gossip site but a fan site. There are other places to gossip about Ben. We’ve all seen this pic taken in Montana and we can’t do anything about it. It’s his life, his decisions, his responsibilities. He’s a grown man. Yes it is disappointing but this is not the first time he’s been disappointing. This is Hollywood guys! We can’t control his life, but just hope for the best for him.

Personally, I’d rather hear about movie news than see Ben become a paparazzi target. Hoping for more projects for him and maybe an album. :) Something to look forward to. Not more stupid PR stunts, or whatever the ice cream photos with Julianne were, which I think is just bad publicity for him!

For now, there is this S&B panel coming up, hopefully the series will be worth the wait. :)

February 4th, 2021

Reen said:
Ben is a man ,
We are fans of Ben . He is his own person.
We care about Ben. We can’t chase him down to every airport in this
World. We just have to hope and pray that Ben will be well !
And & Safe from the covid Ben is strong and a fighter . With a good Heart caring and I know in my heart he will never let his fans down!
Because Ben knows that we love him and I am very sure Ben loves his
Fans !!

February 4th, 2021

sylvia fowler said:
@Marie Please point me to one of these gossip sites because seriously I haven’t see ONE of Ben’s fansites acknowledge this situation. And I think that is weak. We can’t control his life but he shouldn’t be given a free pass for bad/unsafe pandemic behavior just because everyone has crushes on him. Anyone else would have been called out for this.

So here we are.

@Reen
“I know in my heart he will never let his fans down!”

Too late for that!

February 5th, 2021

LaRose said:
I think some people here need to mind their own business. Leave Ben alone. No wonder he is so private!!!!

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@sylvia fowler

Dear “Sylvia,”

Repeat after me…

“Ben’s PRIVATE travel plans and social life are not our PUBLIC concern.”

What’s our endgame?

Redirecting our moniker to some random IG account and not our OWN is unethical and deceptive. We abandoned playing hide and seek a long time ago. If we can’t own it, we shouldn’t propagate it.

BBF is a site to love and support; not divide. And the DL is for trash by trash. Please invest in a new, more positive and life-affirming hobby. We have the time. Our heart and head will thank us.

All you need is love. Love is all you need.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

sylvia fowler said:
“PRIVATE travel plans and social life are not our PUBLIC concern”

Normally true but there is a PUBLIC health emergency happening in the world or have you been on another planet for a while? This emergency is spread and worsened by people’s PRIVATE travel.

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@sylvia

Dear “Sylvia,”

Let’s worry about “us” and not people whom we don’t know IRL and don’t interact with on opposite coasts. Calling out individuals on social media does not help our state of mind nor the greater good.

We can do better.

Let’s just focus on the reasons we care and why we gather, here, to support a talented actor and benevolent human.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

Offended said:
Benevolent human?!?!?

I have co-morbidities. I haven’t left my home in a YEAR. I haven’t seen family or friends or gotten even a goddamn hug in a YEAR. Because if I leave my home I COULD DIE. If anyone else comes any where near me I COULD DIE. And it’s because of people like Ben. Who uncaringly travel all around the world with people that NEVER wear masks, potentially spreading a DEADLY disease everywhere they go.

You considering him good or BENEVOLENT is literally *insulting* to me. And to the MILLIONS like me around this world right now. Grow up you sycophant.

February 5th, 2021

JT said:
I like Ben a lot, so I hate to say it, but unfortunately I do think discussing these travels is relevant since he’s told his followers time and again to stay home and social distance. He even did what I thought was a good IG live at the beginning of quarantine with a doctor to shine light on what it’s like in hospitals and why it’s so important to be careful.

February 5th, 2021

Anastasia Beaverhausen said:
I adore Ben, that’s why this is disappointing. The poors and regular people have stayed at home (like he advised in the beginning) and to see him jetting around the world with people who have been less-than-cautious to downright-careless with mask wearing and social distancing is more than disappointing, it’s hypocritical. I thought he was one of the few good ones. Actions speak louder than words and you can tell a lot about a man by the company he keeps.

February 5th, 2021

Alison said:
Just because you are a fan of someone does not mean that you need to show them blind allegiance. You can still support their career while simultaneously being upset with them. I’m a healthcare worker who has had to make a lot of sacrifices over the past year. I’ve been a fan of Ben’s for the past 10 years and I was incredibly grateful when he kept promoting COVID safety precautions because it seemed like there was one person in the spotlight who actually got it. So when all this new information started circulating earlier this past week I was shocked. As someone who valued him with such high regard for so long, it’s extremely disappointing, especially when he continues to remain silent.

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@offended

Dear Offended,

Pinning your anxiety on one individual’s perceived actions is a neurosis, in, and of, itself. Venting, here, certainly can’t be productive for your mental health.

Many of us are out there on the frontlines or have to report for work, daily, and take the proper precautions to do so. Are you going to blame us, too, because we were in a photo without a mask?

You need to grow-up. The world doesn’t revolve around just you (as evidenced by your tone).

You have no proof beyond gossip-mongering that he is not keeping himself and his loved ones safe. Unsolicited photos don’t tell the full story.

Please judge elsewhere.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

Offended said:
@conscience

You need to go back to school as your reading comprehension skills leave much to be desired.

My mother, despite her too advanced age, works in a restaurant with (stupidly) in-house dining. She has to get close to people that talk and laugh loudly without masks on all damn day. She takes precautions and wears a mask, but the people she serves all day don’t. That means they can infect her, as wearing a mask lowers your risk, it does not prevent it. She’s old and unfortunately poor. That means she could die too.

So yes, if you too were in a photo with a bunch of other people all not wearing masks I absolutely would blame you. Take all the maskless selfies alone in your home that you want though!

Also you need to change your name. You clearly don’t have a conscience. And I think Sociopaths are evil.

February 5th, 2021

sylvia fowler said:
@conscience

You’re absolutely right. A great many people HAVE to go out in the pandemic, to work so they can survive. That makes it so much worse when people who don’t HAVE to go out, do anyway and make life harder for folks like Offended and her mother. Take stupid risks like travel between two COVID-variant hotspots like LA and the UK, and go on completely unnecessary vacations and gather maskless in restaurants.

Or I’m sorry, did Ben “have” to learn how to dogsled on NYE and did he “have” to eat in the resort’s crowded dining room instead of back in his cabin, and did he “have” to do all of these things after spending hours in an airport and on a plane full of people?
Precautions, my ass.

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@offended

“You need to go back to school as your reading comprehension skills leave much to be desired.”

Really? Please do elaborate.

“So yes, if you too were in a photo with a bunch of other people all not wearing masks I absolutely would blame you.” This is exactly WHY you shouldn’t be judging. Can you tell who has had Covid tests or vaccines by looking at their faces? Is that a new superpower?

Withholding judgement from gossip hardly qualifies as sociopathic behavior. But…finger-pointing, blaming and trying to indoctrinate and gaslight others toward your myopic view…is. Please look at the three fingers pointing back at you and correct.

Insults and name-calling are not becoming.

When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

Offended said:
@Conscience

“Really? Please do elaborate.”

Thanks I’ll pass. No amount of wisdom will ever penetrate an ego as massive as yours apparently is.

“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.”

I’ll leave the woeful guru-speak alone and instead continue with, exactly! I did precisely define myself. Which is exactly why I do get to judge him for dangerous, hypocritical behavior. See? That’s wisdom. Let’s see if it penetrates. Maybe those comprehension skills will kick in after all.

February 5th, 2021

Ana Beav said:
Conscience,

Listen, Conscience – may I call you Jiminy? Listen, you low-rent Jiminy Cricket, the WORLD is in a GLOBAL PANdemic. People are dying. People are losing family and friends. People who survive this virus are coming out with lifelong health problems we have no idea the extent of which will be. People all over the world have lost their jobs and are living hand-to-mouth. We’re allowed to be irked at insensitive people like Chrissie Tiegen who talks about her disappointing bottle of $13k wine, and we’re allowed to be angry with faux health gurus peddling wellness shots while dancing on a private jet, and we can also be disillusioned with someone we thought was better than that but it turns out isn’t.

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@Ana

Dear Ana,

“you low-rent Jiminy Cricket” Really necessary?

The difference is in trial by public fire and name calling. Neither are productive and reveal personality traits better left buried.

We can agree to disagree without resorting to those.

I don’t mind difference of opinion. I do mind hate.

Let’s try harder to be more positive than condemning. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

sylvia fowler said:
Conscience here is equating accountability with hate. Because she literally can’t tell the difference between the two things. Sounds like a proper narcissist to me!

February 5th, 2021

Disappointed said:
Dear Conscience

I agree with you regarding haters and name-calling. There are enough nasty things in the world right now. No need to add cyber-bullying to the mix.

Most comments above re Covid are in the main constructive and valid. Here in the UK, we now have the 5th highest death rate in the world, which is tragic. There are very few countries which have a handle quite yet on this pandemic. Our government didn’t help by allowing certain sectors to travel inbound as late as Dec without SQ, including actors, tv production staff & business travellers. Totally crazy.

I’ve been a fan of Ben’s for a long time, and I still am.

But to me that shouldn’t mean blind loyalty. I’d prefer not to have cause to do so, however we should be able to question our favourite peoples’ actions, but do it without flame & fury. There is nothing wrong in politely asking for some enlightenment when public figures are saying one thing and doing another. There is little to be positive about regarding Covid travelling/dining and all it entails.

I am truly sad that this happened, and that it hasn’t reflected well on Ben. I hope nothing else like this is going to find its way onto the gossip sites, because tbh I’d rather be smiling than feeling…

Disappointed

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@Disappointed

Dear Disappointed –

I understand you best. Well-spoken – with heartfelt conviction and kindness.

I don’t expect that he will address his private life, however, we should still offer room for circumstances that cannot be seen nor explained by a photograph or two.

Hope.

That’s all any of us can ask for at this time.

With the utmost regard,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
@sylvia

Dear “Sylvia” –

We know a lot about hate and we’re appalled that you still call yourself a fan. We’ve read your posts in other unsavory forums and on random IG accounts congregating with like-minded gossip mongers for a while, now. It’s painful and heartbreaking.

We know it’s not a coincidence that your moniker is taken from the gossip girl in a well-regarded film. But that’s fiction and your hurtful words affect a family’s well-being and privacy, in reality.

Please think about this the next time you post something snide, sarcastic and catty, offsite.

We see you.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 5th, 2021

Anastasia Beaverhausen said:
Ok I fail to see how “Low-rent Jiminy Cricket” is really that scathing, but I humbly apologize if I offended your delicate sensibilities. Bottom line here is that none of us wants to be stuck at home for a year, and those of use who have to go out for work are either doing it to survive or for the good of the community. People who can barely afford to survive, go to work in unsafe environments in order to pay their rent and people who work to care for the sick and old and disabled *do not want to see people galavanting around the world for funsies and being careless.* So maybe the angel on your shoulder took a beating from the devil on the other one, because your conscience seems a bit off.

Btw, anyone remember this? https://www.instagram.com/p/B-GKCUsJWq0/?igshid=hnt5el90ib6f

February 5th, 2021

sylvia fowler said:
@conscience
“We know a lot about hate and we’re appalled that you still call yourself a fan. We’ve read your posts in other unsavory forums and on random IG accounts congregating with like-minded gossip mongers for a while, now. It’s painful and heartbreaking.”

Why are you writing with the “royal we”?

Why are you heartbroken by a random person on the internet trying to get the truth out about a celeb? This isn’t about you, or your family.

I don’t hate Ben. I wouldn’t be posting here if I did — obviously the people we care the most about are the ones who have the most capacity to hurt and disappoint us when they let us down. I hate to see BB sucked into the C-list celeb “lifestyle” because he’s better than that. And I REALLY hate the attitude of blind unquestioning worship that is pervasive in the BB fandom. I’ve set myself up to skewer that, because it’s needed and I don’t care if everyone hates me for it.

“Make me your villain, ” like someone said.

February 6th, 2021

Laurel B said:
I have been reading and thinking about all of these comments over the past few days. There are a lot of valid points here.
@JT is right that it’s important we talk about this. But we need to stop fighting among ourselves, it’s so upsetting. There shouldn’t be fandom purity tests. We all have Ben in common, let’s put the focus back on him!

We didn’t create this situation. Ben needs to take ownership of it. A grown up should be able to defend himself.

My opinion is that perhaps if Ben was more open in the first place, the whole thing wouldn’t have gone out of control? Like maybe there was a good reason for his trips to London during lockdown? but we’ll never know. He bends over backward to try to hide everything he does but that just makes people more curious and suspicious. It’s human nature. Or maybe he knew the Montana thing was something he shouldn’t be doing, or else he wouldn’t have hid that? Probably if he had just posted from the trip in the first place, some fans would have been mad but most wouldn’t have given it a second thought.

Honestly is the best policy Ben, if you read this! Anyway that’s my two cents. We still love you Ben.

February 6th, 2021

Lulu said:
This is not usually my thing, but we are in lockdown 3 here in England, and being in the house for yet another month has sent me into the kind of screen time that I am frankly finding quite shocking. But c’est la vie.

Anyway, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the assumption that Ben was in London over Xmas just guesswork based on a photo in a wood? And the fact he didn’t look like he was at home in that Xmas song recording. I’m sure there are some much better Miss Marples than me out there – but I’d suggest that nobody outside his circle really knows where he was. London was under strict control measures from the end of October, and totally locked down the week before Xmas. If I were his loving Mama, I’d have said to stay away.

Montana is a whole other issue – and given the evidence available to the world at that point, I’d say is an out of character thing for Ben to have done. Not just the holiday of 4, but the fact the other 3, based on their IGs, seemingly take no notice at all of SD or restricted contact rules. Not that I know what the rules are in Montana (or anywhere else in the US) as I’m in London. But Ben said in the Mt Wolf interview that he was being more strict than the LA rules. The ice-cream sharing thing was a bit icky too, unless they are actually in a relationship – not something I would do at the moment with a good friend, but then I am being “careful”.

My new-found stalking skills led me to a good interview with Rob Kazinski and Noel Clarke on Rob’s IG – the first few mins are Rob talking about lockdown. He has strong views which seem very similar to Ben’s, right up to and including stuff he said on the Mt Wolf interview. Anyway, Rob seems a very direct kind of guy – so hopefully Ben has a real friend in all of this telling him how it is. I don’t mean for PR, just for common sense and being safe.

I really admire actors who endeavour to shun celebrity – which I think has been Ben’s aim in not posting personal stuff. But if someone like him shares strong feelings about anything – like he has about his politics or covid – then they have to expect to be called out if they do the opposite.

Everyone is a bit fragile right now and it is easy to make choices that you wouldn’t have made in normal times. So I hope Ben’s ok, because he seems like a genuinely nice person who reflects carefully on the things he’s less proud of in his life.

Stay safe everyone.

February 6th, 2021

Disappointed said:
Well said, Lulu.

I too hope Ben’s OK. I am sure he will be reflecting on what’s come out the last few days. Just hoping there won’t be any more pap strolls or leaked photos etc as that will just kick everything back off again.

I also hope he has real friends around him who have his (and not their) best interests at heart. Sometimes that’s all you really need and it takes something like this to remind you of that.

February 6th, 2021

Louise said:
Uuhm… It looks like she is just holding his ice cream for a while… And the ice cream shop looks safe; tables before the entrance, no acces inside, disinfectant on the tables, plexiglass… looks very social distancing to me. I would buy an ice cream there.

February 7th, 2021

Your Conscience said:
Dear All –

Leaving this on the table.

1) Fans have every right to analyse their own emotions and join/leave fandoms at will. One does NOT have the right, however, to cyberbully and encourage others to participate in a mock trial/judgement by social media unless you are completely blameless in your own life.

2) Altruism is admirable. Help not hurt. To those loyal fans who are voicing real concerns and are weighing their ambivalence…good for you.

3) Ben’s social media presence is a courtesy and a privilege that can be revoked without notice. It took him years to publicly join the social media conversation and his activity has connected fans across many platforms in numerous positive ways. Do you want to claim credit for his silence and/or disappearance? Is that a badge of honour for the ages? I think not.

4) Be kind. It is a language that is understood by all. We are all human and prone to missteps.

5) Be forgiving. And if you feel that you cannot, please see point number one, again.

@sylvia

We (“royal we” as a collective) do not understand what your obsession is with “fact-checking” his personal life and loves. Try focusing POSITIVE attention on the people, places and saucer-eyed cuties that REALLY matter in YOUR life vs. spreading public gossip and negativity about a stranger’s. It’s been years. See point number four, again.

Sincerely,

Your Conscience

February 8th, 2021

Sam said:
There are a lot of great points above, and I want to add my two cents. I think this is a conversation worth having for all the reasons already highlighted, and especially as we remain in a global pandemic that disproportionately affects people of color who don’t have the systemic resources to fight it. I think we can like someone and also be critical of them, and questioning someone does not equate to bullying. We can call someone out without attacking them personally. All of these things can be true at once, they’re not mutually exclusive.

We live in a free country, but actions have consequences, and unfortunately none of us are free from judgment, especially in this case where Ben has been (rightfully) passionate about emphasizing the importance of staying home and social distancing.

As someone said above, it’s a delicate time and we might be more prone to mistakes and carelessness, and I hope Ben understands why people may feel betrayed by this behavior, and I hope he owns it privately even if he never does so publicly. I like him a lot, and I hope he’s okay. Questioning him isn’t about spreading negativity – at least, it isn’t for me. Its about acknowledging someone’s wholeness, the fact that they can and will make mistakes. It’s about accountability, because unfortunately no amount of positivity will cure a pandemic.

February 8th, 2021

Disappointed said:
I agree with you, Sam. There are a core of people in all countries who do not seem to consider other people (and themselves) in their actions, and unfortunately this all seems to make Ben look like one of them. With the vaccines being rolled out now, hopefully we can all get back to our ‘normal’ lives soon, but for the moment the majority of us are staying home, unless you have no choice in the matter.

So when celebs are seen doing otherwise, it’s hurtful. It says they don’t think they have to live the way the rest of us do. And while of course I don’t know Ben, I don’t think he’s the kind of person who’d set out to do that purposefully, and I’m sure he is reflecting on it.

We are all human and to err is human. But hopefully we learn by our mistakes.

Until we can all start living our lives the way we did pre-pandemic… stay safe people. Stay home. Unless it’s essential that you don’t.

February 8th, 2021

Rachel said:
This is not the place for this discussion. It’s a fansite. Stephanie, please take these down.

February 14th, 2021

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